A Special
Meal
Two male friends meet after not having been in touch for
some time. They exchange greetings.
"I'm married now," said one of the men. "My
wife, she is wonderful. Absolutely perfect."
"Have you beaten her yet?" asked his friend.
"No, there is no reason to beat her. She does everything
as I wish."
"She should have at least one beating, just so she
knows who is the master of the house!"
"Oh I see. Yes, you are right of course."
A week later they meet again.
"Did you beat your wife?"
"I just cannot find a reason to do so."
"I'll give you a reason. This is what you do. Buy some
fish and tell her to cook you a special meal with it as you
have a guest coming to dinner, but don't tell her how you want
the fish cooked. Leave the house and then return with your guest.
When she serves up the fish tell her it's not done the way you
want it. If she fries it tell her you want a casserole and so
on. See what I mean?"
The man bought some catfish and did as his friend instructed.
The woman wasn't sure about the best way to cook the fish to
please her husband.
"He didn't tell me how he wanted it cooked. Hmmm well,
I'll bake some, fry some and casserole some."
She cleaned the house and prepared everything. It was almost
dinner time when the baby made a mess on the floor right next
to the table where they sit cross-legged on the floor to eat.
Before she had time to clean it up she heard her husband and
his friend return for their special meal. She quickly covered
the baby's pooh with a dish she had in her hand. Her husband
and his friend walked in and sat down.
"Bring me the food," ordered the husband. She
first served them the fried fish
"Not fried," said her husband angrily. "I
want baked fish!" So his wife served up the baked fish.
"No! No! Not like that. I don't mean baked," said
her husband. " I want fish casserole." So his wife
served up the fish casserole. Her husband became confused and
frustrated.
"No that's not what I mean. Not casserole, I want.
I want…
"What do you want?" asked his wife.
"I want… I want…. Oh… shit!"
She immediately lifted up the dish from the floor and said:
"Well, my dear, here it is!"
Ref: The Second Virago Book of Fairy Tales
edited by Angela Carter; Virago Press, London 1992
